Chelsea BanksEnglish 101Adam WeinsteinSeptember 6, 2007The Good, The Bad, and Peanut ButterWhen I reflect on peanut butter, the memorable days of kindergarten are fixed in my brain. With shouts and cries and sounds of the playground swing sets squeaking as they swing back and forth, the children around me run and laugh because we are enjoying the hot, radiant sunshine on the top of our sweaty heads. We stand in line for the whirly slide because it is a definite favorite among the crowd—being the thrill of a lifetime, or so we thought. The smell of freshly cut grass and must surround me; yet my mind is not focusing on recess.What did my mother pack in my lunch today?The teacher blows that loud, annoying whistle that is our prompt to jump off the swings, slide one last time, or strike at that yellow tetherball again. My teacher holds her hand high in the air so we can all see which line we are getting in; it is not good to end up leaving with the wrong teacher or wrong class. “Let’s go class! You’re going to be late for lunch!” she yells. She assumes we all prefer the excitements of the playground to the wonders of the cafeteria.
Once we arrive in the largest room associated with elementary school, diversity is evident. Some kids bring their lunches; some kids do not.
My mother explains her reasoning for packing my lunch, “I want to know what you are consuming!”
I think she simply wants to save money. Either way, I enjoy the personalized lunches she packs everyday in my Polly Pocket lunch box. My favorite sandwich, the famous peanut butter and jelly, is the norm. I loathe the day my mother will pack me a bologna sandwich, or one with solely cheese and ketchup, like the freckled boy, Elijah, eats everyday. While some kids frown despondently at the surprise in their own box, or maybe at the mysterious object the cafeteria lady put on their lunch tray, I smile with anticipation. As I unwrap my peanut butter and jelly sandwich, my friend turns to face me. “Wanna trade?” she so boldly asks.I give her a look of disagreement. “I’d rather not…I’m allergic to bologna.” Then I hurriedly turn back to my main focus.
Is it possible for an object of your main focus to be your first thought when you awake in the morning?One day I woke up to the beams of sunlight singing as beautiful a tune as the morning sparrow. I arose not only to remember I had spent the night at my grandparents’ house, but also to smell the marvelous kitchen downstairs. It does not take long for me to run down the stairs to see what creates that incredible aroma. Neither does it take long for my grandmother to scold my impatient manner.“Don’t choo run down them stairs!”“I’m sorry.” I lie.“I’ve told you about that. One of these days you’re gonna fall.”We sit at her oval table to view the plethora of pancakes stacked like a spectacular, tiered, wedding cake. Although the butter and maple syrup are placed on the table, I question the whereabouts of the peanut butter. My grandfather looks at me with raised brows and a confusing look on his face.“What d’you need that for?”I find it ironic that my family, the people who are expected to know me the best, often question my undying love for this granular paste. One of my favorite meals is hot, fresh pancakes, topped with peanut butter and syrup. This unique and interesting combination powered my revolution to try it with waffles. At Waffle House one Saturday morning, a waitress works her way around our group taking individual orders. She turns to face me with an exasperated expression across her face. “What can I do for you, honey?”I can tell she has been working for a long period of time and if truth be told, she does not care about me. Even so, I order two waffles with a side of bacon that ends up being drenched in enough oil to last a whole body massage. My meal is not complete without the addition of some smooth, creamy, peanut butter. As the worn-out waitress starts to walk away, I slip in the question.“Do you have any peanut butter?” She gives me a concerned eye, and then laughs softly. Why do people find peanut butter as a condiment so out of the ordinary?
Do you consider yourself obsessed? Some of my friends ask me this with comic stares. If obsession qualifies as going to Red Lobster and ordering a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, instead of the Fish of the Day, then…yes, I have an obsession.Whether it is smooth and creamy or nutty and crunchy, peanut butter is my character. Sensibly, I am not a jar of peanut butter; however it is engulfed in the depth of my consciousness. The smooth type of peanut butter is an easygoing roll of the ocean—peaceful waters. On the other hand, the crunchy peanut butter is a hurricane—full of debris and swirled into a rough entity. These differing types of peanut butter are like my different thoughts on life. There are good times and bad times; all that matters…is how to approach them. Another time I am in my high school auditorium for the annual beauty pageant. I look at my reflection in the mirror—smudged from the multitude of make-up covered hands tapping it before. Is this who I am? Me. The girl in the reflection? I anxiously wait backstage until my chance to speak with the judges. The personal interview portion of the pageant counts a large percentage, and I want to be completely relaxed—like loose curls. Nerves are high; smiles are fake. The pageant coordinator calls my number. It is my turn to speak with the judges.“Just be yourself.” I repeatedly think in my head. Over the course of the interview I try to be casual, yet sophisticated. The best thing to do is let the judges notice your personality. So I finish my introduction and wait for my interview question. At this point, I cannot help but consider the violent chattering of my teeth. Can they see them?“If you could ask Santa Clause for one present this year, what would you ask for and why?”A sensation of relief came over my whole nervous body. At that moment, I knew what to say: what I felt.“If I could ask Santa Clause for one present this year, I would ask for a year supply of peanut butter. Why, you ask? I adore the delicious treat; I even believe it should have its own food group. I could never live without my peanut butter!”After I answered the question, I waited for their response. Allowing each moment to happen as it will is how I live my life. With hopes for the future, I continue to believe in the inevitable; but every moment is approachable in a different manner. Did I actually just say that? The judges are smiling. They are actually smiling. And I feel so comfortable, just like the next time I place that jar of JIF securely in my shopping cart.
What is it about this paste that sets me apart from the character, or even personality of others? Why do I have such a craving for it?
Simply, this phenomenon is by chance. I cannot find the reason or the evidence to prove why this paste composed merely of peanuts and salt is my desire. Such an uncomplicated substance can be presented as complicated if enough thought is asserted; yet peanut butter is just peanut butter! That is ALL that can be asserted.
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4 comments:
I enjoyed reading this paper because it's written very creatively and in a "free-flowing" or maybe even brain-storming type of way. I couldn’t find many grammar mistakes. The mistakes I did notice were very minor. The topic of the essay is food, and the author chose peanut butter as her favorite. She did a good job of staying on the topic of just peanut butter and how much she likes it and the experiences she’s had with her favorite food. When quotations are used, it makes the reader understand the situation better almost like they were both there. I also liked the format of the essay. It is written in a time-line type of format. What I mean by time-line is this- the essay is written about a person’s experiences during life in the order that they happened. Writing essays or papers like this allows the reader to follow along more clearly and comprehend the essay easily. One of the major things I did notice was detail. There is a lot of detail. As the author writes, she is very descriptive about every object of every experience of every scene.
Chelsea, I enjoyed reading your paper about your admiration of peanut butter. The main reason this essay is appealing is that it is humorous. Throughout the essay you throw jokes and small stories to make the reader laugh. I especially like the joke about the ketchup and cheese sandwich like the kid elijah. Another aspect i liked was the flow of your essay. It would tell a story and wrap peanut butter into it before you lost the reader.
Although asking questions in essays can be a very effective tool, I would recomend taking out a few. You have 16 occurences of the '?' in your essay! Some of these come from quotations but i feel 16 is too much for a 1000 word essay. Another thing i would look at would be your comparisons like in the sentence, "One day I woke up to the beams of sunlight singing as beautiful a tune as the morning sparrow." The morning sparrow almost seems to be a cliche. When I read that line it did not give me the appeal I feel you were looking for.
Overall, this is a well thought out essay with humor and a solid point. It was very entertaining and has the potential for an A+ paper with the correction of a few small details.
I really enjoyed the introduction to your paper and how you describe your childhood,”With shouts and cries and sounds of the playground swing sets squeaking as they swing back and forth, the children around me run and laugh because we are enjoying the hot, radiant sunshine on the top of our sweaty heads.” The descriptions of smells and feelings are very well written! I also enjoyed the jokes throughout your paper. It makes it much more lively. I also like how you have made your paper into some sort of a story. You range from one point in your life to the next. I like the description of the actual peanut butter, “The smooth type of peanut butter is an easygoing roll of the ocean—peaceful waters. On the other hand, the crunchy peanut butter is a hurricane—full of debris and swirled into a rough entity.”What I don’t see is your description of you and your peanut butter. The way it makes you feel or how it feels in your mouth is a big point in loving a particular food. Also, there are a lot of questions throughout your paper. I know it has to do with your story, but you might want to cut down on so many questions. Overall, your paper was very well written. There were hardly any grammatical errors. I think if you just read over it and think about what you are writing a little more then you will be fine! Correcting the small stuff should easily give you an A+! Great job!
I thought this was a very good paper. You are a good writer and very descriptive, with a knack for recounting stories. The language flowed well and there was not a boring or incorrect sentence I could find in your essay. The only thing I would say is that because you are so descriptive you spend a lot of time simply recounting. Don’t get me wrong; because you are a good writer this is still interesting and pleasant to read, I would be interested to hear more about how your love for peanut butter reflects you. I think you instead try to determine how peanut butter itself represents you, which is very hard to do. All in all though I though this was a very good paper, and your writing is very enjoyably and easy to read.
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