Courtney Hamilton
Adam Weinstein
En 101
11/1/07
Live From Iraq
Adam Weinstein
En 101
11/1/07
Live From Iraq
According to the first lines in the song Live From Iraq, “ Every days like a gamble here, This is no joke, This is live from Iraq, Where we prayin we make it home”, the song illustrates the hardships American soldiers must face everyday in the war with Iraq. Every line provides detailed proof that the war is not what is advertised on television in the United States. This song illustrates the true blood and gore endured by the soldiers that is censored from the television sets of every American. Live From Iraq offers the inside scoop to a gruesome war without the governments distorted view point. In order to understand the full concept of the war with Iraq, the viewpoint of an actual soldier is a necessity.
Throughout the song, the artist, 4th25, consistently makes references that they do not agree with the war. The line, “ Home of too many soldiers graves, Where for our country, We gamble with our lives everyday”, represents the artists feelings about the war. 4th25 believes the only result of the war so far is dead bodies and in result, low spirits. The lyrics to the song portray the war image, from gun powder to ubiquitous bombing. Another thing that bothers the artist is the fact that the soldiers gamble with their life in Iraq and yet they will never forget all the horrors from the war. Each second in Iraq is a chance the soldiers take and the artist depicts the terror very clearly throughout the song.
After perusing the lyrics a couple of times, it is clear what the persona of the song is trying to represent. The persona of the song must be a soldier that is actively involved with the war. All of the lines vividly describe the blood and gore of the war and how it affects the speaker. The speaker uses ethos to support the message he/she is trying to make. By involving intense imagery, the artist evokes emotion in the audience and therefore gets the audience involved in the event. Although the speaker is obvious, it is hard to know whether the artist is the persona or not. The artist could be involved with the event, however the connection between the two are unknown.
In order for the audience to understand the seriousness of the war with Iraq, the speaker includes visual facts about the recent events. The speaker uses imagery to persuade the audience to disagree with the war. Not only does the speaker disagree with the war, but he/she also wants the audience to know exactly what is going on in Iraq. The news does not give any of the gory details, therefore, someone must put the war into perspective. Many Americans are clueless as to what is going on and the speaker wants to give the audience the correct idea.
Throughout the song the artist makes references to the fighting occurring in Iraq. Through doing so, the song is more effective in introducing the message. The lyrics inform the audience about the war and gives strong evidence that the war is affecting the lives of many soldiers and their families. By including the line, “ 59 of us april 4th,8 of us dyin”, it evokes sympathy in the Americans who have no clue what is happening in Iraq. It also opens the idea that the war may not be worth the pain and suffering the soldiers and their families are experiencing. The song actually gives a reason for people to pay attention to the country and decide if the war is really the right decisions for the country. The main issue the speaker deals with is the effectiveness of the war. He/she wants know if the country is really making a difference by fighting this war.
In conclusion, Live From Iraq involves the issue with the war being effective or not. By fighting the war, soldiers are dying and loved ones are affected. According to the speaker, a soldier fighting in the war, the war is pointless. The speaker believes Americans should know the truth and not what is being said on the news. The war is still going on and nothing is being achieved so far. Since the speaker reveals the actual information regarding the war, Americans can decide for themselves if the war in Iraq is right or wrong.
3 comments:
In this essay, one of the strongest points is the grammar. For example, there were no run-on sentences that I could spot. Also, I saw very few comma splices. These two are very common among essays. Another strong point in this essay I saw was the choice of words. The words you picked to use weren't too sophisticated like you were trying too hard but they also weren't too vague. They fit this essay very well.
The one weakness I saw was it could be organized better. Such as more together and not as split up or choppy.
Overall I really enjoyed this essay and there were some very strong and effective points in it. I can see a lot of time was spent on it.
The wording and word choice for this essay is effective. The grammar is not bad at all with the exception of a couple of subject-verb agreement mistakes that are easy to fix.
The points are good. I especially liked how you wrapped it up and came to the conclusion of the message of the pointlessness of the war that 4th25 was trying to get across. Two things would make your points much more effective. First, you need more support for your points in the form of lyrics from the song. Secondly, make some clearer transitions between a few of the paragraphs which should not be too difficult.
Otherwise, the only part of the essay that was unclear was the third paragraph where you discussed speaker and persona. I got a little mixed up on who was what, but honestly I'm not very clear on the difference between speaker and persona anyway. Make that paragraph a little clearer and it will be very effective along with all your other points.
Overall, a well-written and effective essay with a convincing argument. It just needs a little cleaning up.
i though you had a well written essay overall. grammar was excellent and there was only one or two run-ons. one paragraph that stood out to me was the third one when you are trying to tell who or what the persona is. you get to out of order with your sentences and as the reader i got kind of lost. this is easy to fix with some simple proofreading or better yet have a friend read it out loud to you. it always sounds right in your head but hearing your own writing is a much better way to proof it. otherwise you had strong points and good supporting sentences.
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