Paper 6: Formal Revision

Julia Burchfield
EN 101
Adam Weinstein
November 20, 2007
How to Run from a Cop
I am writing this essay for every student at the University of Alabama who wants to know how to escape the clutches of the unforgiving police that roam our campus. My parents knew that I would experiment with alcohol here at the University. Although they would rather me wait until I was 21 to start drinking, they taught me the responsibilities of consuming alcohol (just like sex, our parents would rather us wait until we were married, but they still teach us safe sex just in case). So, since my parents knew that they could not monitor my behavior while I was at college, they taught me everything I should know about consuming alcohol responsibly. They told me to: A. Most importantly, never drink and drive; B. Never get in the car with a drunk driver. C. Never put my drink down at a party, for some deranged person might put a drug in my drink; and D. Do not get to the point of blacking out from drinking. With these values, I attended the University of Alabama, and was sure if I followed my parents’ advice I would stay out of trouble. I was wrong. The second week of school I was arrested in the front doors of my dorm for a charge called “Public Intoxication”. In case one does not know the definition of Public Intoxication I will gladly inform them. According to the StudentLife website, Public Intoxication “requires that the person be intoxicated to the degree that he/she is a danger to him/herself or another person. Being publicly intoxicated makes a person vulnerable to robbery, assault, and a number of other difficulties”. Now, before I begin I would like to say that I know that I was wrong for breaking the law. Since I broke the state law, I had every right to be punished and prosecuted; I also think that all the punishments I got for my arrest were fair. However, I went through all the precautions my parents bestowed in me before I went to my dorm. I A: Found a sober ride; B. Did not set my drink down at the party or let anyone else make me a drink; and C. Was not at the point of blackout because I remember every vivid detail of being arrested (which I will not go into because of its length and depth). As a result I spent 10 hours in the Tuscaloosa County Jail, and as I sat there in the “pink room” (which is a room that is painted pink to make people become sober) I was so confused on what I could have done to avoid being arrested. I came up with a few ideas, some which have worked recently, so I thought I would share them with others so they would not spare my fate.
One great way to get away from a cop is run. If you are at a party and the cops pull up the house you are in, flee for life out the back door and don’t stop until you get to a place of safety. A place of safety is hard to come by now on campus since there has been a murder; but if you run to a place where there are other people, you might have a good chance of not getting shot. Now, do not run from the cop if they can see you, because the first thing they are going to do is run after you; and you have just given everyone else at the party a chance to leave the scene. However, judge the cop’s size, if they are really overweight, and you know you are a fast runner, you can chance it. Also, to increase your chances of getting away, always wear your running shoes out to parties; it is better to be unfashionable than to go to jail. But, your best bet from running from a police officer would be to run while they are in their car out the back door, so they did not even know you were at the party.
Another way to escape from the police is to hide. Don’t be an idiot and hide in a bedroom or closet; they look in there. Hide in a good hiding spot where no one would expect to find you (i.e. under a bed, in a large cabinet or in the shower). Make sure that if you hide anywhere outside that it is not in a dark ally, because the chances of getting raped at the University are high; because arresting underage drinkers to promote “public safety” is may more important than to look for a serial rapist. I know these places are hard to come by, but look around the house and outside when you walk into the party; try and scope out a good hiding place before, just in case. P.S. the rule that if you cannot see them, they cannot see you is not always true; especially when you are a drunken buffoon.
One thing a person should know to do if a cop shows up at a party is to put their drink down, and get rid of all the alcohol or drugs they have with them. It does not matter how much it costs, or how much you want to keep it, it is better to get rid of the evidence then to get arrested. Besides, if they arrest you, they are just going to take it from you anyway. So if a cop shows up at a party, get all the alcohol that you have as far away from you as you can. A great way to make sure that you will not get in trouble is spill your drink on a stranger; that way they will smell like alcohol and the police will automatically be attracted to them; allowing you to run away! Always remember, if a cop cannot tell you are drunk, and you do not have any alcohol with you, you can refuse a sobriety test, and then the burden of proof is upon them.
Now in all seriousness, I do not think that anyone should run from a police officer. Yes, you may try some of these barbaric ideas and get away; however if you are caught, the consequences are much worse on you. The reason I am really writing this essay is because I am upset that the University Police are arresting people who are trying to be responsible. I know several other people who have been arrested, and they, like me, thought they were doing the right thing. I know four people who have been arrested walking home from a party because they did not want to get into a car and not only risk their lives, but the lives of other people. I know a girl who was arrested getting in the car with a sober driver, because all she wanted to do was go home. I know a boy who was arrested in a football game, for looking “intoxicated”. I am aware that the police department has a right to arrest all of the above; however, we are in college. The pressures and the exposure to alcohol while we are in school are very high; therefore they are going to drink. We, as students, also are required to take an online alcohol class before and during the school year (alcoholedu); the class teaches students how to drink and be responsible about it. I think it is wrong to teach students how to be responsible about drinking and to still punish them even though they are going through all the precautions they have learned. To me, it is like teaching a student to multiply and giving them an F on the test, even though they did all the problems correctly. It bothers me that when I go to another college, police officers will escort people home if they seem slightly intoxicated, whereas here, they slap handcuffs on you (which really hurts). I know that people who are drinking underage have every right to be arrested; I just think that the University does not even consider giving warnings to students who have only had one drink; if you have had one sip of alcohol you are screwed. I think police officers have a problem with that strategy because they think that the students will not learn a lesson. I do not think that is necessarily true. I think that it will give students more respect for our police department; it makes it seem that the police are not out there just to get us in trouble; they are there for our safety. I think that there are a lot bigger problems, like rape, that should be taken care of than drunken college students (because recently there have been 2 rapes on campus this year, and four cases of girls being sexually assaulted). I also think that cops should be looking for the people who are drinking and driving, not drinking and walking. It seems to me that a majority of the students being arrested are arrested walking home. I think that if you are walking, not near the curb, then you should at least be credited for not driving. Once you have had a drink, you are not only putting your life at danger when you get behind the wheel, but you are also putting other peoples’ lives in danger. I am not just complaining about the police department because I have gotten in trouble; I am just upset that the police are arresting the people who are trying to look out for themselves and for others. Basically what I have learned while being enrolled in the University of Alabama is to drink and drive; which is a message that should never cross anyone’s mind. I would never get behind the wheel and chance other people’s lives, but when I think I am doing the right thing by walking home or getting a sober ride, I am punished anyway.
In conclusion, I do not advise anybody to try to run from a police officer because I would hate to know that I put the idea in one’s head. I would also hate to know that because of this paper someone may get charged with resisting arrest. I want to add that if an officer sees you running, they are going to do everything in their power to catch you. But I would like everyone who reads this paper to be aware on how strict the law enforcement is here at the University, and to be careful; because even though you think you are doing the responsible thing, you may still be punished.
P.S. For all you airheaded girls, please don’t wear running shoes out to a party; I was kidding.